I'm going to be seeking help soon.
It's scary and hard but I need it.
I'm struggling with my classes and put everything off until last minute.
I haven't done laundry in weeks probably.
I wash bottles only when I have to.
I am miserable.
I am unhealthy.
I need to find some sort of motivation so that I can feel like myself again.
Alyss is the only thing that has kept me alive at this point.
I want to be better for her.
I just don't know how to be.
I don't know how to get better.
Friday, February 19, 2010
Friday, December 18, 2009
This is not the life I expected
So, I've been busy getting school and insurance things together.
I start college the 11th.
Hopefully Josh and I will be on Medicaid around that time as well.
Free dental for him and free glasses for me.
We really need it right now.
We'll be taking in our applications for Section 8 Housing soon as well, which we'll hopefully get because I can't wait to have our own place again.
Where we can be a family.
On top of that all, I've been reading Penczak's "The Inner Temple of Witchcraft" again.
It's been 2 years almost since Josh and I committed ourselves to learning the ways of the witch.
And we stopped when we got pregnant with Alyss.
I know you're thinking that this has got to be a joke.
But it's not.
And if people bothered to learn about the religion then they'd realize that they're wrong about it.
I was raised Baptist and that's not what I ever felt at home with.
I'm really liked the sound of the Solitary Witch or even the Celtic Witch.
I like the Celtic Deities, but then again I'm of Irish/Scottish decent.
I will be starting the lessons of the book probably tonight or tomorrow.
The Yule festival is tomorrow, I may do something small just for myself.
I may do my re-intention ritual. (Re-intention since I've done it before.)
If anyone has any questions or concerns about this, please leave a comment and come to ME with it. I can answer most of your questions, if I can't, I'll ask someone who can.
Anywho, wish me luck on this spiritual journey, I'm hoping to find myself amongst this mess of me.
I start college the 11th.
Hopefully Josh and I will be on Medicaid around that time as well.
Free dental for him and free glasses for me.
We really need it right now.
We'll be taking in our applications for Section 8 Housing soon as well, which we'll hopefully get because I can't wait to have our own place again.
Where we can be a family.
On top of that all, I've been reading Penczak's "The Inner Temple of Witchcraft" again.
It's been 2 years almost since Josh and I committed ourselves to learning the ways of the witch.
And we stopped when we got pregnant with Alyss.
I know you're thinking that this has got to be a joke.
But it's not.
And if people bothered to learn about the religion then they'd realize that they're wrong about it.
I was raised Baptist and that's not what I ever felt at home with.
I'm really liked the sound of the Solitary Witch or even the Celtic Witch.
I like the Celtic Deities, but then again I'm of Irish/Scottish decent.
I will be starting the lessons of the book probably tonight or tomorrow.
The Yule festival is tomorrow, I may do something small just for myself.
I may do my re-intention ritual. (Re-intention since I've done it before.)
If anyone has any questions or concerns about this, please leave a comment and come to ME with it. I can answer most of your questions, if I can't, I'll ask someone who can.
Anywho, wish me luck on this spiritual journey, I'm hoping to find myself amongst this mess of me.
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Recipes
So, Alyss has been sick for the past week.
She's had a fever of 100.5 and up.
The highest it has hit so far was 101.6.
She's very grumpy and we don't know what's wrong.
She's thrown up three times (once Monday and twice yesterday).
She's currently walking around the house with her bottle of Powerade and stopping on occasion when there are toys to be played with.
She feels like crap but she's still happy.
Weird child.
On Monday, I made Alyss some breakfast.
She hasn't actually eaten any of it yet because she's been sick.
But I like it a lot.
It's from 'The Baby Bistro Cookbook' by Joohee Muromcew.
We got it at the local library.
Puffy Apple Pancake
Use apples, apricots, peaches, or whatever firm fruit you have on hand. This is a wonderful treat for a big family brunch or sleepover breakfast.
2 tablespoons butter
2 large apples, peeled, cored, and sliced
2 tablespoons sugar
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
3 eggs
1/2 cup all-purpose flour
1/2 cup milk
1/4 cup plain yogurt
1/2 teaspoon salt
Preheat the oven to 375°F.
In a large ovenproof, skillet melt the butter over medium-high heat. Add the apples and cook, stirring occasionally for 5 minutes or until tender. Sprinkle the sugar and cinnamon over the apples and set aside.
In a medium bowl, whisk the eggs until slightly foamy, then stir in the flour, milk, yogurt, and salt until blended and smooth. Pour the batter over the apples and bake for 20-30 minutes or until lightly golden and puffy. remove from the oven and let cool slightly. To serve, cut into 8 wedges.
It freezes nicely, as do all pancakes and waffles, so it's a quick and easy meal for later in the week too if you're just not feeling up to the challenge of cooking.
And also, Alyss loves bananas.
We usually buy six of them and she has one for breakfast almost everyday.
But by the time we get to those last 3, they're bruised and gross.
So, I also made some banana bread on Monday night after we had gotten back from the hospital (she had to have her blood drawn for a CBC and cultures).
Banana Bread
Everybody's favorite quick bread is also the savior of many a banana in our house.
3 very ripe bananas, peeled and mashed with a fork
1 egg
1/2 cup packed brown sugar
1/4 cup vegetable oil
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
2 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
Preheat the oven to 350ºF. Grease a 9" x 5" loaf pan; set aside.
In a large bowl, whisk together the bananas, egg, brown sugar, oil, and vanilla just until blended. Add the flour, baking powder, baking soda, and cinnamon and stir just until blended. Pour into the prepared pan and bake for 45-55 minutes or until a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean.
Remove from the oven and cool for 10 minutes on a wire rack. Remove the bread from the pan and let cool completely on the rack. To serve, cut into 12 slices.
And last but truly not least I made some baked sweet potato sticks which she absolutely loved.
Baked Sweet Potato Sticks
These delicious snacks are a healthier alternative to french fries and flavored enough for the whole family.
2 large sweet potatoes, unpeeled and scrubbed
1 tablespoon vegetable oil
Preheat the oven to 400°F. Line a baking sheet with parchment paper.
Cut the potatoes into 1/2"-thick sticks. In a large bowl, toss the potatoes with the vegetable oil until coated. Put them onto the baking sheet, spreading a single layer. Bake for 10 minutes. Turn the sticks over and bake for another 10 minutes or until crispy on the outside and soft inside. remove pan to a wire rack and let cool slightly.
I actually added a tiny bit of kosher salt to them when I flipped them and it gave them a nice flavor.
Josh actually ate a few and liked them.
Which was shocking because the only vegetable that man eats is corn.
I am not kidding either.
I could have left them in the oven for a bit longer too but I didn't want them too crispy since Alyss is sick. But I personally would have preferred if they had been crispier.
Alright, that's all for now I guess.
I will try and post more often.
It's just with Alyss being sick, it's hard to take time away when she's up.
When she's asleep I've been trying to clean or just relax on the couch.
Have a great day. =]
She's had a fever of 100.5 and up.
The highest it has hit so far was 101.6.
She's very grumpy and we don't know what's wrong.
She's thrown up three times (once Monday and twice yesterday).
She's currently walking around the house with her bottle of Powerade and stopping on occasion when there are toys to be played with.
She feels like crap but she's still happy.
Weird child.
On Monday, I made Alyss some breakfast.
She hasn't actually eaten any of it yet because she's been sick.
But I like it a lot.
It's from 'The Baby Bistro Cookbook' by Joohee Muromcew.
We got it at the local library.
Puffy Apple Pancake
Use apples, apricots, peaches, or whatever firm fruit you have on hand. This is a wonderful treat for a big family brunch or sleepover breakfast.
2 tablespoons butter
2 large apples, peeled, cored, and sliced
2 tablespoons sugar
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
3 eggs
1/2 cup all-purpose flour
1/2 cup milk
1/4 cup plain yogurt
1/2 teaspoon salt
Preheat the oven to 375°F.
In a large ovenproof, skillet melt the butter over medium-high heat. Add the apples and cook, stirring occasionally for 5 minutes or until tender. Sprinkle the sugar and cinnamon over the apples and set aside.
In a medium bowl, whisk the eggs until slightly foamy, then stir in the flour, milk, yogurt, and salt until blended and smooth. Pour the batter over the apples and bake for 20-30 minutes or until lightly golden and puffy. remove from the oven and let cool slightly. To serve, cut into 8 wedges.
It freezes nicely, as do all pancakes and waffles, so it's a quick and easy meal for later in the week too if you're just not feeling up to the challenge of cooking.
And also, Alyss loves bananas.
We usually buy six of them and she has one for breakfast almost everyday.
But by the time we get to those last 3, they're bruised and gross.
So, I also made some banana bread on Monday night after we had gotten back from the hospital (she had to have her blood drawn for a CBC and cultures).
Banana Bread
Everybody's favorite quick bread is also the savior of many a banana in our house.
3 very ripe bananas, peeled and mashed with a fork
1 egg
1/2 cup packed brown sugar
1/4 cup vegetable oil
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
2 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
Preheat the oven to 350ºF. Grease a 9" x 5" loaf pan; set aside.
In a large bowl, whisk together the bananas, egg, brown sugar, oil, and vanilla just until blended. Add the flour, baking powder, baking soda, and cinnamon and stir just until blended. Pour into the prepared pan and bake for 45-55 minutes or until a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean.
Remove from the oven and cool for 10 minutes on a wire rack. Remove the bread from the pan and let cool completely on the rack. To serve, cut into 12 slices.
And last but truly not least I made some baked sweet potato sticks which she absolutely loved.
Baked Sweet Potato Sticks
These delicious snacks are a healthier alternative to french fries and flavored enough for the whole family.
2 large sweet potatoes, unpeeled and scrubbed
1 tablespoon vegetable oil
Preheat the oven to 400°F. Line a baking sheet with parchment paper.
Cut the potatoes into 1/2"-thick sticks. In a large bowl, toss the potatoes with the vegetable oil until coated. Put them onto the baking sheet, spreading a single layer. Bake for 10 minutes. Turn the sticks over and bake for another 10 minutes or until crispy on the outside and soft inside. remove pan to a wire rack and let cool slightly.
I actually added a tiny bit of kosher salt to them when I flipped them and it gave them a nice flavor.
Josh actually ate a few and liked them.
Which was shocking because the only vegetable that man eats is corn.
I am not kidding either.
I could have left them in the oven for a bit longer too but I didn't want them too crispy since Alyss is sick. But I personally would have preferred if they had been crispier.
Alright, that's all for now I guess.
I will try and post more often.
It's just with Alyss being sick, it's hard to take time away when she's up.
When she's asleep I've been trying to clean or just relax on the couch.
Have a great day. =]
Friday, October 23, 2009
The Beginning
This is for me.
To write about her.
I had this very long and very thought out poem in my phone that I had started the day I found out I want pregnant with Alyss.
And then my phone froze and I had to take the battery out when the company was working on their internet provider...
And I lost it.
A poem that was meant to be for her.
When she was about to have her first baby.
And it's all gone.
So, I guess this is for her as well.
To write about her.
I had this very long and very thought out poem in my phone that I had started the day I found out I want pregnant with Alyss.
And then my phone froze and I had to take the battery out when the company was working on their internet provider...
And I lost it.
A poem that was meant to be for her.
When she was about to have her first baby.
And it's all gone.
So, I guess this is for her as well.
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